Eating, Holidays, Parties, what claire ate

What Claire Ate: September 3rd, 2014 (Anniversary Edition)

September 3rd was my third wedding anniversary!

Sean brought me a croissant in bed!

HAPPY DAY!

HAPPY DAY!

Then I didn’t eat anything because I was saving my strength for our celebration supper at Grimaldi’s.

Then I ate a lot.

We shared an antipasto appeteaser.

IMG_0738

And a bottle of wine.

Look at all that chemistry.

Look at all that chemistry.

Then a delicious pizza.

<3

Which we killed.

RIP DELICIOUS PIZZA

RIP DELICIOUS PIZZA

On the way back home, we grabbed some macarons and OH YOU KNOW AN ICE CREAM CAKE.

Ain't no party like a Lower anniversary celebration party.

Ain’t no party like a Lower anniversary celebration party.

We watched Alien and I had one macaron and one slice of cake and one glass of boxed wine (not pictured).

Pistachio

Pistachio

cakecakecakeimamakeyoumyhusband

cakecakecakeimamakeyoumyhusband

THE END.

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Alcohol, Awkward, Beer, Eating, Parties

What Claire Ate: Too Many Cosmo Cosmos

The day began and ended with eggs, but there was a lot in between.

Breakfast eggs were fried and wrapped in a flour tortilla with melted cheese. Coffee was also consumed.

OBVIOUSLY THERE WAS SRIRACHA INVOLVED.

OBVIOUSLY THERE WAS SRIRACHA INVOLVED.

Cream only.

Cream only.

 

We did some grocery shopping and met some friends at 7th Sun Brewery.

Cucumber Gose

Cucumber Gose

We arrived back home, and I had a slice of cheese.

Who's pretty?

Who’s pretty?

Then I had some cheese wrapped in some meat.

Blerg.

Blerg.

Then I prepared for my COSMOS VIEWING PARTY.

I had about seven of these things:

Look at Angie being judgey in the background.

Look at Angie being judgey in the background.

Instead of making the mini spudniks, I had a spudnik bar so everyone could customize their spud experience.

Mine had labneh, chicken, cheddar, bacon, green onion, caramelized onions, fresh dill. Just the basics.

Mine had labneh, chicken, cheddar, bacon, green onion, caramelized onions, fresh dill. Just the basics.

Dessert was dark matter cake with a red wine chocolate glaze and Cherry Garcia.

The cakes didn't hold together as well this time.

The cakes didn’t hold together as well this time.

We then watched True Detective. Even though we have HBOGo, Sean was brilliant enough to record the finale so there were no hiccups in our viewing experience.

As mentioned earlier, I drank a lot of Cosmo Cosmos (I had prepared a pitcher) so I boiled a couple of eggs and ate those with toast.

 

Protein.

Protein.

“What Claire Ate” is going to be suspended for a few days because of secret secrets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Awkward, Eating, Parties, Sweets

What Claire Ate: It’s The Freakin’ Weekend

I didn’t get up until 11:30 and if was fucking magical.

Sean went on a FIFTY TWO MILE BIKE RIDE and then met me and my sister in Dunedin for brunch.

It was hot so I had iced coffee.

A beautiful sight to see.

A beautiful sight to see.

 

I ordered the chicken sausage and poached eggs because that sounded like something I wanted in my mouth.

The fruit was a sad afterthought.

The fruit was a sad afterthought.

Syd gave me a piece of her bacon.

Syd gave me a piece of her bacon.

These were mine, though.

Creamy BEIGE!

Creamy BEIGE!

Later, while I was running errands, I stopped into Starbucks to get an iced tea lemonade but, because the world is a cruel and godless place, they were OUT OF FROZEN WATER.

So my sister made me a delicious iced tea at home.

Here it is next to some really old perfume.

Here it is next to some really old perfume.

Also, I ate two of these kale chips.

They are vegan and flavored with carrot powder. So.

They are vegan and flavored with carrot powder. So.

Several hours later, I ate this homemade oreo I had bought the night before at Datz Dough.

It was very good.

It was very good.

This is Datz Dough.

This is Datz Dough.

Then I went to a birthday party and put all kinds of crap in my mouth.

Lasagna, mac, chips and dip, and coke (not diet!)

Lasagna, mac, chips and dip, and coke (not diet!)

That didn’t photograph well, but OH WELL.

I ate two brownie bites.

x2

x2

I tried on my sister’s glasses.

She Instagram'd it.

She Instagram’d it.

Then we watched a movie and I had cake and popcorn. It was dark, because of the whole movie thing.

Ice cream cake.

Ice cream cake.

Cheese popcorn.

Cheese popcorn.

IT’S OVER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Alcohol, Awkward, Beer, Eating, Parties

Remember the Jolly Trolley Times?

I kiiiiiiinda do.

In retrospect, it doesn’t seem like I drank that much…but it felt like I did, bibbles.

But hey! Where have I been recently? Why, I’ve been writing a bunch for xojane.com! Check me out.

It should be noted that one of my coworkers referred to my xo profile pic as “terrifying.” Shut UP Steve.

Also, really important: My hair is a different color.

I'd do me.

I’d do me.

 

Anybass! Katie and I decided it would be a really grood idea to pay $20 for a trolley that went between three beer bars. There was free beer on said trolley and it was GOOD BEER, bibbles.

THANKS DUNEDIN HOUSE OF BEER!

Just a couple of warriors.

Just a couple of warriors.

 

Before we embarked, I ate a bagel.

Bagel Times.

Bagel Times.

 

We got wristbands, you know like in a club. Club Trolley Times.

I haven't been this excited about a wristband in a while.

I haven’t been this excited about a wristband in a while.

 

Then we drank some beers.

7eventh Sun DELICIOUSNESS.

7eventh Sun DELICIOUSNESS.

My Trolley Beer.

My Trolley Beer.

 

Katie's Trolley Beer. She's so CUTE.

Katie’s Trolley Beer. She’s so CUTE.

 

Then we arrived at the Palm Harbor House of Beer and some lady was all “LOOK AT THIS SHIRTLESS PICTURE OF THE GUY FROM SUPERNATURAL.”

And we were all “Ehhhh…”

Then we murdered the awkward silence by ordering more beer (these were $1 off bee-tee-dubstep).

2nd Trolley Beer + Chips+ Dogfish Head Noble Rot = Color Coordinated

2nd Trolley Beer + Chips+ Dogfish Head Noble Rot = Color Coordinated

Katie was also color coordinated.

Katie was also color coordinated.

 

Back to Klub Trolley Timez.

We had some more Trolley Beerz. I forgot to take their pictures but YOU KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE.

Next Stop: Tarpon Tap House

I would like to issue a public apology to everyone at Tarpon Tap House who had to listen to me yell about vibrators. Klub Trolley Thymez makes you say the craziest things!

Who knows guys...

Who knows guys…

 

I KNOW I had two beers. Yet there is only one picture. Such is the life of a patron of Klub Troll-E Timesauce.

French fried potatoes were had.

Tasty Times.

Tasty Times.

 

I’d like to apologize to the bartender, who had to deal with these monsters:

It's fiiiine guys.

It’s fiiiine guys.

 

Then I saw someone I knew in Club-a-baby-seal Trolly Times and we HAD TO GET BACK ON.

More beer was had and I spilled some on my purse but it’s fiiine, thank you for asking.

It's dark in da klub.

It’s dark in da klub.

 

I know, at this point, that I am missing at least three beer photos…and like all of Katie’s beers, but you guys get the idea.

We had come full circle back to Dunedin HOB. I put $5 in the jukebox, picked some songs, and went outside where I couldn’t really hear my songs.

Then this happened:

Real quick shout out to our waitress at Pan Y Vino who was a gorgeous goddess and super nice to us!

Naturally.

Naturally.

We were later provided with crayons.

We were later provided with crayons.

The BEST PIZZA.

The BEST PIZZA.

You know...

You know…

 

Then, my saint of a saintly perfect husband came and retrieved us.

He fed me McDonalds (how?) and vitamins and made me drink water and watched Downton Abbey with me.

And I took a lot of pictures with Kira.

Here’s one now!

Shameless.

Shameless.

 

Moral of the story: What happens at Club Trolley Times does not stay at Klub Trollee Timez because it’s an open air trolley and people CAN SEE YOU.

IT’S OVER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Alcohol, Beer, Eating, Holidays, Parties, Sweets

What Were You Eating New Year’s…New YEAR’S EVE?

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BIBBLES!!!

How did you celebrate the last day of the 2012? I celebrated it by eating AND drinking! Do you want to know what I ate-slash-drank? If you do not, then you are reading the wrong blog. If this is the case…please leave. Just go…I don’t wanna talk to you anymore.

ANYWIZZLE.

I began the last day of last year with lots of bread!

Some baked brie…

With apricot preserves, natch.

With apricot preserves, natch.

 

NEXT: An unnecessary croissant.

I did not need this.

I did not need this.

 

THEN: Some necessary OJ and champagne.

I needed this.

I needed this.

 

AND FINALLY:  A Rueben Crepe. WHAT?! YES. THAT’S RIGHT? I AM GREAT AT PICKING THINGS OFF MENUS.

With some mustard.

With some mustard.

 

That crepe was actually a little soggy.

Then we took a drive to the city. I didn’t get a picture of all the cows on the beautiful hills… which is a shame…When I pointed them out to Sean, he said: “THE HILLS HAVE COWS!”

I’m sorry I’m not sorry that I laughed at that.

Cow-less hills.

Cow-less hills.

 

Once we reached our hotel, we did what any red-blooded non-terrorist would do…

Some Sorta Chocolate Stout.

Some Sorta Chocolate Stout.

 

Then we walked around and I bought a tacky-fabulous fake leopard coat. Then we went to dinner…which I will present without comment…in pictures.

THE CUCUMBERS TAKE THIS TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

THE CUCUMBERS TAKE THIS TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

I LOVE RAW FISH.

I LOVE RAW FISH AND TAPENADE.

THIS HAS ANCHOVIES IN IT.

THIS HAS ANCHOVIES IN IT.

Don't GnocchIT until you try IT.

Don’t GnocchIT until you try IT.

Party Time.

Party Time.

Oh hai, glitter nails.

Oh hai, glitter nails.

Guess what this is for.

Guess what this is for.

Shhhhhh...

Shhhhhh…

Because there was an after party coming up.

Because there was an after party coming up.

Sean's Dessert.

Sean’s Dessert.

My dessert.

My dessert.

 

And the owner took our picture AND GAVE IT TO US FOR FREE.

The owner was kind of a hipster.

The owner was kind of a hipster.

 

I guess that wasn’t completely comment-less.

Here, have some more pictures:

So festive!

So festive!

Just drinking coffee guys.

Just drinking coffee guys.

Old Blue Eyes, they call him.

“Old Blue Eyes”, they call him.

 

Then we went to a speakeasy and drank punch and champagne and whiskey and saw a burlesque show and had our own table because we are super important.

One drink had leaves.

One drink had leaves.

Nice "e".

Nice “e”.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR BIBBLES!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Eating, Experiments, Holidays, Parties

In Which I Conquer a WHOLE BRISKET.

Vegetarian friends… you guys can sit this one out.

We’re gonna be talking meat. Hanukkah meat. Brisket Meat.

Fifteen pounds of meat.

Real quick though: I almost named this “In Which I Concur a WHOLE BRISKET” because my fever may have denatured most of my brain.

ANYJEW, the meat!

It looked like this:

Claire included for scale.

Claire included for scale.

Being manly with meat.

Being manly with meat…Oh hai, Mick Jagger.

 

I’m going to level with you bibbles, I had no idea how to handle this chunk of cow. I decided to use the googles and found A LOT of OPINIONS. You know what they say about opinions, right?

If you subtract PI you get ONIONS!

OOOOOOHHHH Claire…

You have flu brain.

Moving on. Finally, I found this recipe on the Pioneer Woman site.

I also consulted my mother. My mother said that the only thing her asshole ex-husband taught her was how to make a decent brisket. She said the trick is to cook lower and slower. So instead of the PW’s suggested 40 minutes per lb. at 300 F, I did 1 hour per lb. at 250 F.

But my marinade was very similar to PW’s.

Observe:

Some consomme.

Oh hai, dog.

Oh hai, dog.

 

Some onions (left over from all those opinions!) and garlic.

They'll only make you cry.

They’ll only make you cry.

 

You know what I did with those bitches? I pureed the freak out of them.

Now who's crying?

Now who’s crying?

 

Then some beer (not a whole can because I drank some).

Keeping it local.

Keeping it local.

 

Then some soy sauce (1/2 a cup).

Not so local.

Not so local.

 

Then some lemons! For acidity and brightness!

To fight scurvy.

To fight scurvy.

 

Let everyone get to know each other…

A vat of awesome.

A vat of awesome.

 

Then I had to squeeze that thang into the pan. It reminded me of putting on my jeans in the morning…AMIRIGHTLADIES?

Someone shoot my face.

I had to beat her into submission.

We did it!

 

Then I let her roast for FIFTEEN HORSES HOURS.

Then she looked like this.

Look at that crispy fat.

Look at that crispy fat.

 

AND THEN GUESS WHAT? I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF ANYTHING ELSE BECAUSE I WAS MAKING 5 LBS OF LATKES I’M REALLY SORRY GUYS.

But believe me…It just fell apart. I couldn’t even get slices. She just disintegrated.

And it was tasty.

And my guests were sated.

And now I have to do this every Hanukkah.

IT’S OVER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Alcohol, Beer, Eating, Fall, Parties, Sweets

The Halfway Point

Oh hai gurlz haaaaiii!!!

I’m about halfway through my DC/Virginia trip and reckoned I should upload some of this otherwise the whole weekend will be one blog and it will be too unwieldy and I’ll never write it and you’ll always wonder what I ate this fateful weekend in November.

So anyhouse.

We had to go to the airport (obvs) and neither of us had eaten so we ate at Chili’s Too!

Blergh.

Worst ‘Rita Ever.

Meh meh meh.

Guys. Guys. I really hate Chili’s and it’s son (you see what I did there???).

We then got on the plane. I really hate flying. The pressure somehow summons moldy cotton into my cranium. And there I sit. Moldy cotton for brains for close to two hours…

Anyballs, we land, got to our hotel, and guess who show’s up?

IDK MY BFF STACY?

Yup.

Then we all went to Amphora!

‘Nilla

That’s a really good shake, guys.

Divine

Let me explain this sandwich. It’s called a “sailor”…or, If you are my Stacy, it is called a “dirty sailor”. Sure.

The players: Pastrami, Coleslaw, Swiss Cheese.

All ingredients are capitalized because they are all very important and deserve our respect.

Those Fries also deserve our respect.

In the morning, I ate some of these:

Great +Good = Grood.

 

Then…we went BACK TO AMPHORA.

We think that place is real groovy.

I kept it simple with a BLT.

Basics.

 

Then there was a festival of Fall!

So Autumnal.

 

I’m just going to post a whole bunch of pics of leaves and shit, K?


After our hippie-fest, we went to a little welcome dinner for the wedding guests. I ate a lot of all of the things and drank a lot of all of the wine.

 

 

What a spread.

 

This is Sean’s cousin:

What a strong family resemblance!

 

Sean’s aunt made us all these cookies! What a peach!

They good, bibbles.

 

Then we decided to go to the Dogfish Head Ale House…GUYS DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

While waiting at an insufferably long tollbooth, I ate some things from the welcome bag.

I did not share with Sean.

 

I did not take a picture of my beer at Dogfish…I got the Palo Santo Marron, if you care.

In the morning, I ate another cinnamon roll.

Pretty Lady.

 

And I think I’m going to wrap it up here, bibbles. We went to Dogfish again (surprise) and I think that trip deserves it’s own post.

 

 

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