Alcohol, Awkward, Eating, Sweets

In Which I Injure Myself Trying to Catch and Apple.

I had just bought it and didn’t want it to get bruised…

I did not catch it. So, now I have a bruised knee and a bruised apple.

*slow clap*

Guys…I feel like these posts are getting repetitive since I made those breakfast muffins and Thai noodle salad. Do you guys miss the Mexican-food-for-breakfast times?

Yawn sauce.

 

I also had a small coffee…more yawns.

After “working” up an appetite I ate the same boring Thai noodle salad. Do I even need to take new pictures if I’m eating the same thing…

I probably do, because if I don’t I’ll just forget I ate it.

There it is.

 

Don’t fall asleep, because here is where things get ca-ray-zy.

I really wanted a diet coke…but I also really didn’t want cancer…so I compromised and bought diabetes instead.

Can this doctor prescribe insulin?

 

Some hours passed…and I was (like clock-work) hungry again around 2:30.

So I ate an expired yogurt.

My mother would be proud (I’m not joking).

 

Really, my mother views expiration dates as “suggestions” rather than something absolute. Her trademark phrase when I was growing up was “Your immune system can handle it.”

Hardcore, she is.

ANYMOUSE.

On the way home from work I stopped to get some produce and a new (reversible) sports bra at Target. I don’t know why it’s reversible…I mean…no one sees it…and I can only wear it once and then I have to wash it…am I missing something? Am I supposed to take it off half way through my work-out and change it from the grey to the pink side? Is this for people who wear sports bras as tops?

ANYMOUSE THE SECOND.

I also got these guys.

Not as good as original IMHO.

 

I had to eat in my car I was so famished…apparently the yogurt satiating properties are what expired.

Then I went home, injured myself while trying to catch an apple that was rolling off the counter, and ate a different apple (I was mad at the one that made me hurt myself…so I didn’t eat it?).

Non-offending apple.

 

I also had some whole-grain goldfish.

2 ramekins worth.

 

And another little cheese.

The fairest of them all.

 

Then I went and worked out my guns…nbd…

Then I ate some more things.

Avocado and spinach salad.

 

I made the best thing. The photo you see below is toast with goat cheese, avocado, fried egg, and some green onion.

My most wondrous creation.

 

Then I was still hungry…so I had pecans and dark chocolate chips…

I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THERE IS ICE CREAM IN MY FREEZER AND I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD BE REALLY PROUD THAT I DIDN’T EAT THAT INSTEAD.

Sorta like trail mix?

 

Then I washed it down with the last bit of milk.

Which is good for those guns that I mentioned working out earlier.

Don’t worry, that dog hair is on the outside of the jar.

 

Next time you see me…you should probably punch me for using the word “guns” twice in this post.

I really need to be reeled back in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “In Which I Injure Myself Trying to Catch and Apple.

  1. JM says:

    I do not know how you can eat some of the food items listed above. I think you should eat some normal food items like steak, ribs, chicken sandwich, etc… Seems like a lot of just snacking with no substance to fill you up. Does anybody else eat these food items in this manner? Don’ forget you also gave blood today.

    • Listen Capt. Grilled Cheese, my avocado/goat cheese/egg toast creation is a modern miracle…

      I am fully aware that I gave blood today, thankyouverymuch and you will be happy to know that I went to Outback for dinner and had a nice “normal” steak.

      • JM says:

        Well, it is about time you ate something normal for a change. Nothing wrong with eating a grill cheese sandwich from a cafeteria that you can not trust eating anything else.

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