Anything (including awful cleanses) Can Be Conquered With Apple Cider Vinegar and Garlic.

I have started my cleanse. But first, let’s back up to Monday. Monday, when I had a grilled cheese sandwich and fries (and diet coke) for lunch. Monday…Why didn’t I eat more Monday?

Because I was too full from my “last supper”.


That’s  a motherfucking bison steak. BISON.

This is why I’m cleansing.

What, exactly, am I eating now, if not bison?

All of these:

Who was first like "Let's eat this, guys"?

So much life.

Orange Things.

Oh, and lentils…like one cup of cooked lentils…

And gritty protein shakes.

I’m currently coating all of my meals in apple cider vinegar and garlic powder. This seems to make kale more palatable… though actually I like kale…as much as you can like kale, at least.

If anyone is interested in the exact cleanse that I am doing, go here, but the gist of it is this:

1. Grainy rice protein shakes

2. A specific list of (unlimited)vegetables I can have (half of which should be raw)

3. A specific list of fruit I can have, which shall be consumed in a 1:2 ratio with above veggies

4. 1 cup of lentils per day

5. A gallon of water per day.

So that’s what’s happening, bibbles. I tried to go to hot yoga yesterday, but mostly just chilled in child’s pose. But, according to the scale at yoga, I was down a pound from my starting weight of 155lbs (which was taken at Publix, I refuse to own a scale). Yay?

I want bacon.


3 thoughts on “Anything (including awful cleanses) Can Be Conquered With Apple Cider Vinegar and Garlic.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s